This is another song challenge. I was listening to Reba McEntire's "She Thinks His Name Was John" and several stories came to mind. I picked this one.

An Uncertain Future
by Judith Freudenthal

Tracy was at a party her dad was throwing. She did not want to be here but had come because it was the only way to get her father off her back. She was bored out of her mind and was on her second white wine that hour. Suddenly she spotted a cute man across the room and headed for him. She liked his broad shoulders, blue eyes and hair as black as night.

"Hi, I'm Tracy."

"Hi, I'm John."

Tracy and John hit it off. She had a few more wines over the course of the evening.

He has the best smile, Tracy thought to herself.

As soon as the party was over Tracy and John left together. Her father did not like this, but she didn't care.

She can account for all the men in her past.
Where they are now, who they married, how many kids they have.
She knew their backgrounds, family and friends.
A few she even talks to now and then.


A few years later Tracy was concerned because she couldn't seem to kick a bug she had picked up. She was almost always tired, and her body ached. Sometimes she even thought she had a fever. She wanted to see a doctor but did not want her father to be able to get her records. He had done it before.

Tracy went to a different town and used an alias, a name from her favorite movie. She underwent a full examination, including complete bloodworkup.

A week later Tracy was stunned almost to the point of numbness at what the doctor told her. She was infected with the AIDS virus. She could not remember doing anything to put her at risk.

She was driving home when a memory was tickling the back of her mind. She had spent the rest of the day just driving around, with a brief stop at the park, trying to come up with how she had become infected. She was trying to think of all the men she had been involved with over the last few years. She could remember almost all of them.

But there is is one she can't put her finger on.
There is one who never leaves her thoughts.
And she thinks his name was John.


She had a vague memory of her father's party. How much she had hated going to it, how she had tried to ease the boredom with some wine.

A chance meeting, a party a few years back.
Broad shoulders and blue eyes, his hair was so black.
He was a friend of a friend you could say.
She let his smile just sweep her away.
And in her heart she knew it was wrong.
But too much wine and she left his bed at dawn.
And she thinks his name was John.

She remembered that other reason she had left with him, to rebel against her father's checking out all her dates. She had hated how he had to have a full police check on him before she was allowed to date them. Generally he had tried to set her up with the sons of his old friends.

She knew that her friends were concerned about her but how could she tell them?


As her condition worsened over the next few years Tracy began to regret having slept with John. She had regretted everything about that night.

If I had not let my father pester me into going then I wouldn't have been drinking and I wouldn't have met him. None of this would be happening. Anger clouding her thoughts.

Now each day is one day that's left in her life.
She won't know love, have a marriage or sing lullabies.
She lays all alone and cries herself to sleep.
'Cause she let a stranger kill her hopes and her dreams.


She had seen her friends concern for her grow as the disease progressed. They had been very supportive of her. Still she felt totally alone sometimes. She did not know if she should ask or how to ask Vachon to bring her across. She kept hoping for a cure or at least a new treatment that would benefit her.

And all her friends say what a pity what a loss.
And in the end when she was barely hanging on.
All she could say is she thinks his name was John.
She thinks his name was John.


Vachon had seen how sick she was and knew that she would be lucky to last another day. He wondered if he should ask if she wanted to come across.

"Vachon, please bring me across," Tracy said, her weakness coming through in her voice.

Vachon nodded and sank his teeth into her neck, draining her. It hurt more than she thought it would. Before she knew it she felt his wrist pressed against her lips, a few drops of his blood seeping into her mouth. She grabbed his wrist and sucked on it like a baby with a bottle, until he pulled it away in self-defense.

"Thank you," Tracy said before she fell asleep.

Vachon stayed with her to make sure that she would be okay. He hoped she was prepared for all that she was about to learn, feel, experience.

The end.

Forever Knight Index